It's a Dog's Life

I hope you all had a very Happy Christmas and that you're ready for the year ahead. I had some lovely letters from readers over the holidays, so thank you very much if you are one of them! One of my (many) New Year's Resolutions is to reply to letters more speedily. Let me know what your Resolutions are - and if you manage to keep them.

Getting up early is NOT one of mine, which is lucky as I was not ready for the alarm this morning, that's for sure. When I heard the radio go off, I thought I was still dreaming. It was so dark . . . It was still dark when we all arrived at school too, so it's no wonder that Jet (one of the cats) did not come in for breakfast until after I had dropped the children off. Kenna the pooch is still away on her holidays, too, so the house was very quiet indeed this morning.

In case you are wondering, when I say that Kenna is on holiday, I do not mean that she is sunning herself by the pool at a doggy hotel. But we have not put her in kennels either: she really is on holiday - in Devon! She is staying with my husband's parents (otherwise known as Granny and Grandpa) which is where she goes whenever we are away. It's much nicer there than in kennels because she is not shut in and she gets lots of fuss and cuddles, not to mention long walks on the moors. Granny and Grandpa used to have two dogs: a black Labrador and a wire-haired Dachshund, both of which sadly died last year. (The Labrador was called Yoda and the Dachshund was called Obi - yes, after the Star Wars characters . . .) Obviously they miss their dogs very much, so to make sure they get a bit of a Doggy Fix now and again, they say they are happy to look after Kenna once in a while, which is great for us and lovely for Kenna too.

Kenna particularly likes going to stay with Granny and Grandpa at Christmas time, because there are lots of people around. It's not simply that she likes company (although she does), it's more a case of the confusion that a large number of people can create. For example: a packet of butter and some cheese were left out on the kitchen table, but they have mysteriously disappeared . . . Granny questions us all in turn:
"Anna, did you use up that last pat of butter I left on the table?"
"No, Granny. Wasn't me, sorry."
"Grandpa, you didn't eat all that cheese, did you?"
"No, dear."
And so on and so forth . . .
Meanwhile, Kenna is seen slinking away from the scene of the crime, looking distinctly guilty and quite a bit fatter!

The other, rather hideous activity, that Kenna likes to indulge in when no one is looking is what we as a family have come to call "composting". This does not mean that Kenna sneaks out to do a bit of useful gardening, nor does it mean that she helpfully takes the food scraps out to the compost heap for recycling. Oh no, "composting" is a term for a much much more horrendous pastime than any you can imagine: it means that Kenna the pooch EATS ROTTING FRUIT AND VEG!!! Yes, she makes full use of the fact that Granny and Grandpa's house is bursting at the seams with noisy children and grown-ups enjoying themselves, and tiptoes out into the garden while no one is looking. Then, checking over her shoulder to make sure she is not being followed, she breaks into a run and heads for the compost heap, where she thrusts her snout deep into the stinky, rotten mound of discarded potato peelings, egg shells and apple cores, carrot scrapings and Brussels sprout leaves, and SCOFFS THE LOT!

It is at that point that someone (usually me . . .) notices that the pooch has gone missing and runs to the back door to yell, "KennaaaAAAAAHH!" to find my hound dragging her bloated and wobbly belly back into the house where she collapses into a heap to sleep off her over-indulgence.

I am always cross with her for going composting, but it's not really fair of me. After all, Labradors are born greedy and simply cannot resist a free meal - and the smellier the better.

And in any case, after my own particular session of Christmas over-indulgence, I can hardly criticise her. Not, I hasten to add, that I have been eating compost . . . . But I am rather fatter than I was before the holidays began.

Oh well, on with the New Year's Resolutions which, rather boringly, include to eat healthily and to crack on with my training for the Edinburgh Marathon (Kenna's coming with me on the runs to help shift her Christmas pounds too!)

Happy New Year!